Just me and my sacrum

Yesterday we saw and practiced what the director of my school has dubbed, “Integrated back treatment.”

As he was stripping through the sacrum of the demo (which was mine, ironically) he said,

“The word ‘sacrum’ comes from early anatomy nomenclature. It is Latin and means ‘sacred.’ The bone is larger in the female than in the male body, which tells us that the sacred is embodied more in the female form.”

I almost cried. In all my life, no one has ever held up the female form to be equal to the male. Forget putting her higher than him; it’s unthinkable. And then when you demean the body, it's not such a stretch to the soul and the mind inside. “You throw like a girl; you think like a woman.”

But now, it’s just me and my sacrum. . .and we are holy.

So I've been tagged by Michael S. Douty

eleven of Life's Simple Pleasures.

1 ~ cuddling with a sleepy baby
2 ~ eating brownie sundaes
3 ~ receiving a satvic polarity treatment
4 ~ giving a satvic polarity treatment
5 ~ skipping stones across a lake
6 ~ not having to cook your own dinner
7 ~ driving a car instead of taking the bus
8 ~ an epidural during childbirth
9 ~ essential oils and incense
10 ~ watching way too much television when you ought to be doing something else
11 ~ playing sudoku

I realize that not all of these can actually qualify as "simple." And I don't think there's anyone left for me to tag. Wait, maybe Michael Ottinger. Yes, yes, I tag the man from Disney World!

Today I passed my polarity evaluation.

And I learned that I'll probably never ever be a raw foodist.

What I learned today:

Applying a tourniquet usually means you're going to lose that limb.
And for CPR, it's not 2 breaths and 15 compressions anymore; it's 2-30. Even on infants.
That seems like too many.

Busy, busy bees

It’s been crazy.
I go to school from 9 to 5, doing one treatment now in the school clinic at lunch monday through thursday and then 2 to 4 treatments on fridays. The babe goes to daycare. The spouse goes to work at the hotel and to his parents on his days off to work for them.

I’m learning a lot of things about myself. Who I really am, all the things I need to work on in myself. How much Fear i have.

Sometimes I really like my clients. Sometimes I am confused, perplexed. Like yesterday, the client said she didn’t have anything specific that was bothering her and then didn’t like the work on her back because it wasn’t addressing her shoulders well enough. Or the graduate who told me at the end of the treatment that she was an airy person who would have liked lighter rocking as opposed to firmer rocking that a fiery or watery person would have resonated with.

Apparently, the mind reading class is next semester.

I like Polarity. I don’t really like homeopathy; it’s too much to wrap my mind around right now.

And the things we talk about in Ethics class, like boundaries and working with trauma survivors keep bringing my own garbage to the foreground.

But I am learning to listen to the body; my own and others’. I am learning a lot of things; I have just lost my words somehow, or the ideas aren’t congealed yet so that they make sense.

How to make sense of it all. I guess I can start out with this:

What I learned today:
That when doing Dural Tube traction, one needs to use less pressure than you might think.

What I learned yesterday:
When babies get vaccines, life sucks for about 24 hours.

What I learned the day before that:
It's going to take a long time to salvage my spirituality. It's time to figure out how to be okay with that.

This might be nice for awhile.

So my loan was pre-approved today so that I can attend school to become a massage therapist. I keep telling myself that it's a flaky thing to do, especially when I already have a bachelor's degree and previous student loan debt. But I can't figure out what I want to study at graduate school. . .

And so it looks like Michael Ottinger's worst fear for me has been realized:
I am going to rub Mormons after all.

Right now, I feel really . . . .what’s the word?
Inundated. I feel inundated with all the things I need to get done. But when Toby’s thrashing around hungry or needing to be comforted, it seems like that’s the only thing I need to do. When he goes down for some sleep, I feel driven to do things. Clean the apartment. Do dishes. Wash bottles. Mix more formula. Pay bills. Make phone calls. Write thank you notes. Call the massage therapy school. Work on my application. Find a really good daycare center. Do laundry. Take out the trash. Cook something.

But all I want to do is take a shower and get some sleep myself. Usually that’s what I do and then I feel really guilty when I look around and see the state of things.

How do mothers do this? I mean, it’s a big deal to just get my teeth brushed.